Dear Reader, so change of plans. Let me rephrase that: change of God's plan for this season. In the above picture, you might be wondering just what this place is (or maybe you know; in which chase you can pat yourself on the back), this is Port Orchard, Washington. This is where I will be going for (at least) this summer. I wanted to title this blog, "The COPS have come"-as in Change of Plans, but it didn't seem to fit. -I think I'm just probably into puns a little too much. Anyway, I haven't been here in around...18 years. I just just an infant; this was my place of birth, this was my first earthly home, this is where my biological father lives and family whom I am very eager to meet. I guess you could say I feel a bit like I'm going back in time. Now an adult, as compared to an infant, I am sure to have many memories. Like everything new, I am not sure what to expect. I only know I want to seek God's face through this time-through every moment, which I have been so graciously given.
The idea is that I will be staying with my Aunt, who has so wonderfully been willing to open up her home to me. I wish to be a blessing to her the same way I know she has already been for me. I am currently looking for work, I have already applied at a christian camp, but regardless God will provide me with the work that He wants me to do-I just need to trust, obey-I need to listen to HIM.
Granted-I take each person's advice with a grain of salt, and I seem to have been getting plenty of it. It has been made clear to me what others would like for my life. I appreciate it, I love you, but remember that following God has absolutely nothing to do with 'me and practicality'. I seek the Lord's hand in your words, as I wish you to do with me, but you're still human. You are 'entitled to your opinion' and all to that which I hope you know makes you feel like you are important. But in the same way that my words are from me, a human being, I pray that you entrust yourself to the Savior, Jesus Christ FIRST AND FOREMOST. His words stand firm to the very end. Countless times (or maybe you can count it, but I don't remember off the top of my head) God says that if we are to speak, it should be to honor and edify. What you say will come out of your heart, or, let me rephrase that: what you truly believe. Even if you say something you don't mean-I can tell you that maybe not everyone can tell, but some will be able to and will find that of you to be true. I'm not saying for you to choose to speak good instead of bad if you...don't 'feel good'. I just mean, spend more time trying to emulate the truth instead of just...speaking it. That will indeed help you to be quite shiny-you know-a light to the world, like Jesus has called all those who follow Him. We are to be imitators of Christ. We are called to be ambassadors of Christ. He loves you, and He's a person, remember? He's not a building-not a series of religious activities-not a good fluffy feeling even-He's much bigger, and He's much more deeper and wonderful.
Please answer me this: What draws you to Christ? Why are you following Him? Why do you go to Church, dear Brother, dear Sister? Why do you stand there and worship in song-why do you sing?
On one of my phone interviews, I was asked this question, "What has God taught you this past year?"
Contentment.
BAM
This is the hardest part of following the Lord, for me. To be living intentionally.
Not doing stuff, not being busy, not knowing painful,hard, truths. Not being so convicted that I lay in my bed cuddled up with giant waves of sorrow and puddles of tears. No.
It's contentment. It's caring of God's Kingdom more than my own will, my own desires, my own dreams. It's living in these precious times, as difficult as they might become. Each moment is precious because you will NEVER have it again. You will NEVER have this moment, this minute, this hour, this day, to serve God in this very way.
I am usually either dwelling on yesterday, or despairing about tomorrow.
I have learned that in doing the hardest act, laying down my life-myself, I find that my dreams really do come true. You know what's really cool?-Jesus did this for us!
What, might you ask, can you find in such an act?
I find joy unspeakable. I find unconditional love, I find myself being part of a Greater Work. Isn't that why you are doing what you are doing? Isn't that why you're going to college, working on that project, reading that book, etc.?
Matthew 16:24-26 says, "Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"
Dear Brother, dear Sister, before I come to a close with this blog post, I would ask that you would forgive me if I have, in anyway, led you astray. I do not, by any means, claim to be correct in my whole worldview-but I wish you to know that I am trying. I acknowledge and look to God for instruction, for guidance, for instruction, for truth. Please forgive me if I have, in any way, offended or hurt you in these words-in these posts. I pray my Lord always give you conviction and blessings through this blog. Through these words, or, if I know you, relational interaction. I don't wish you to 'feel' good if you have gained no substance.
It seems just when I try to move forward, the brunt of my transgressions takes center stage (quite literally, recently). I pray you do not run away or curdle under whatever trail you are facing, whatever that might be. I pray you would, in remembrance of Who's you are, look to Him alone. I have felt the ache of sorrow to where I did not ever know if I would make it through the hour, and I pray it is then, in your sorrow, that you cry out to your Heavenly Father. I praise God for your trails that you may lay it all down for the sake of gaining Christ. I rejoice for your pain because I wish for you what I strive for in myself- a pure, sincere, genuine faith in the Creator of the Universe. God talks a lot about fire purifying gold-He's really good with setting up examples for us! I wish that in whatever season you are in, you daily, moment by moment, seek God's face.
I would also like to affirm that contentment only comes from 'Seeking first His kingdom'. It is not a state you reach on your own by turning your cheek away from what makes your eyes sparkle. It is not something invoked when you suddenly become more disciplined.
God is a jealous God, He wants us to trust and depend totally on Him. He is more than enough, and if you could realize, He is everything you could ever not only need, but desire.
The song below I will share is not a 'christian artist' but they greatly, I guess you could say, inspire or motivate me. It makes me think of what my life without the Lord was like.
What was your life like before you knew Hope?
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